Do It Afraid
- mckirahan7
- Feb 27, 2023
- 4 min read
This day, Feb. 27, 2007, was one of my most scary and courageous moments of saying “Yes” to the Lord 18 years ago that would forever change my life and lay the ground work in my heart for me to say bigger “Yeses” to the Lord in the days to come.
I had been living in Cincinnati, OH, working in corporate America at CFC (Cincinnati Insurance Companies) for 11 years, enjoying owning my cute little house , loving my church, ️ and having my family and sweet niece and nephew just 10 mins away, when all of that was about to change….
CFC was a large, successful company (9 floors and 2 towers) that was getting ready to have their annual Fine Arts Fund talent show, and I had never participated in it in 11 years or even watched it before!
But the weekend prior to the event, I was out of town at an “Awaken the Beauty” retreat, when in one of the moments of stillness and reflection, I clearly heard the Lord say “I want you to dance at the CFC talent show.” I was like, “You want me to what?!?”
…again He said, “I want you to dance at the CFC talent show.” I argued, “But God, it’s only a few days away! And that is really vulnerable!! It’s vulnerable enough dancing at church, but it’s a whole other thing doing it in front of hundreds of people who might not even be saved!”
I sat there knowing I was going to lose this argument, so I began to barter. “Ok, well if you want me to dance, you’ll have to give me the song” …immediately I heard a tune in my head. “God, I can’t dance to that song! It’s too slow…” The song continued to play in my head. “Ugghhh….ok”, I thought, but was literally starting to feel nauseous at the thought of doing this.
I got home the next day, and was still completely terrified at this idea, and continued to put the fleece out to test if it was really God. …I stood in front of my closet and said, “What do You want me to wear?” And immediately He showed me…”that top and those pants.”
“Ok, well now You have to show how to dance to this song.” …I stood in my living room, played the song, and within 20 mins the whole dance was done! Never before had I choreographed a dance so quickly. “That was too easy!” I thought.
I still hadn’t even registered to be in the talent show and was hoping that maybe they were already full or maybe I missed the deadline? Worst case scenario, let me at least be on the 3rd day of performances, and NOT scheduled during the lunch hour when everyone would be in the cafeteria where the stage is set up. (CFC had a very large cafeteria that held maybe up to 300 or 400 people or more, plus standing room).
…with fear and trembling Monday morning, I walked down to the 3rd floor to sign up, and the lady registering everyone looked down at the sign up sheets and said, “Ok, I’ve got you down for Tuesday at 11:30am.” “That’s tomorrow!!! And it’s during the lunch break!” Ugh….now I was really feeling nauseous!
I was sweating bullets,and decided to fast my lunch that day and pray (or cry and whine to God about all my fears)! Ha! “God, I haven’t even seen the stage! I don’t know how big it is! What if it’s too small for me to dance on…” I sat in a private side room with the door closed telling God every reason why I can’t do this, and after 20 mins or so, He spoke to my heart and showed me a picture…
He said, “Michelle..this is not about you. This is about ME ministering to hearts in that room through your worship. It doesn’t matter what moves you do tomorrow when you dance…it doesn’t even matter if you fall down. ….My anointing is what breaks the yoke, and when you worship Me, My presence comes…”
I saw the cafeteria full of people and the Lord’s love being shot out like arrows, piercing hearts in a matter of a 4 minutes, and immediately all the fear left my body and I felt joy and excitement flood me at the thought of God piercing hearts with His love!!
My perspective had completely shifted, and now I couldn’t wait to do this!!! Now, I was no longer focused on ME, but on HIM and what He wanted to do THROUGH me. So, it took all the pressure off me and didn’t even matter what people thought about it because it wasn’t about me!
And sure enough that’s what happened…I worshipped that day to a 4 minute song, and later received email after email of people saying how the Lord ministered to them, and even had some say how they didn’t understand it but had tears in their eyes while they watched and were moved beyond words. His love is so powerful!!
…I had no idea at the time, but literally 6 months later to the day (Aug. 27th, 2007), my whole life would be turned upside down and I would no longer be working at CFC, but starting my first day at a ministry in Kansas City, MO, 9 hours away. And that 3 month internship would turn into 5 years living there…and 18 years of serving Him as a missionary wherever He leads.
It’s been a wild ride for sure, and I one I wouldn’t trade, and I honesty don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t said “Yes” that day to dance at my workplace. That day challenged me at a deeper level to lay down my pride, surrender my will, and let God use me in a way that was out of my comfort zone, …and it also showed me again how FUN and FREE it really is to do that!
Every Yes” we give to God matters, big or small….so, may this little testimony encourage you to not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and say “Yes” to Him when you feel Him speaking, knowing that it’s not about you. And who knows…it just may change your whole life!
Comments