Freedom Day

Freedom Day ❤️🎉

I’m celebrating freedom today…the day God finally let someone see the truth of what I was living in and start leading me to freedom. 

…the story continues…

5 years ago, on Feb. 6, 2020, I had just come from meeting with the professional counselor that the church leaders had sent me to 2 weeks after the horrible incident with my husband. I had agreed with the pastors that I needed trauma counseling – I was definitely traumatized - but they failed to acknowledge any part that my husband was playing, and put 100% of the responsibility on me. 

Thankfully, they let me pick the counselor I wanted to see, and even offered to pay for it, which was a blessing, but the biggest blessing was yet to come. 

Jan. 30th, 2020, I walked into the counselor’s office, and sat down. I didn’t know her- she was referred to me from a friend. The first 15 minutes, she just silently read through the application that I filled out of why I was there and describing all of my issues - my anger, rage, trouble with forgiveness, etc. And after 15 minutes of reading through it all, she looked up at me and said, “I am pretty sure there is something else going on here. I think you were sent here for the wrong reason.” And she handed me this book….”The Emotionally Destructive Marriage” by Leslie Vernick. 

I had never heard of Leslie Vernick before, and just by reading the title, I was afraid to read it. So the following week on Feb. 6th, when I went back to see her, she asked if I had had a chance to check out that book,  and I said, “No, I’m afraid to read it.” and that’s when she picked up her book and said, “Here, why don’t you take my copy?”

At that moment I literally felt the Lord saying “Read it.” I left there and didn’t even get 5 pages into the introduction and I READ MY LIFE. 

I had just said 8 out of the 10 quotes she listed of women in emotionally destructive marriages. Phrases like  “I feel like I’m drowning.” and “I feel like I can’t breathe.” I was stunned. It was literally just a few days prior I had confided in someone for the first time ever, and said these exact words. 

The following chapter in the book was a self test of 60 questions. As I answered them and totaled up my responses, it validated and confirmed what I’d been feeling for 5 years, but never had any validation for….that I was NOT just in a difficult marriage, and I was NOT just in a disappointing marriage, but I was in a destructive marriage - an abusive situation that was harming me and destroying my personhood. 

The following week, I went back and told her what I discovered, and she said these wise words, “Is there anywhere you can go and get alone with God and ask him, “What do you want me to do with this information?”

She never told me what to do. But, she gently guided me, and the LORD in his faithfulness began to lead me out step by step. I call it “my exodus” because over the next 4 months, I literally saw God part the Red Sea and do the impossible for me and through me, to get me out from where I was living and into a safe place.

Ladies… If you are living in a swirl of confusion where you feel like you can barely breathe or like you’re drowning, and you don’t know what’s going on. I encourage you to take this online test called “Quick Start Guide” at Leslievernick.com.  It will help bring clarity to you and to your situation. 

You don’t have to be afraid. When you have clarity, then you can begin taking informed steps instead of stumbling blindly through the fog. 

I’m praying for you today and believing for the Lord to give you great courage, clarity and wisdom to know your next steps. 🙏❤️