Obedience
- mckirahan7
- May 22, 2025
- 3 min read
(part 7 of my story)
At the end of my 3 week “detox” in KC, I went to return my rental car before flying back to ATL on Mar. 14, 2020. I had spent all morning in the prayer room and felt the Lord speaking to my heart through every song. I knew it was time to go and that I was ready to go back. But even though I was saying goodbye to the prayer room, God wasn’t done speaking….
As I drove to the car rental place about 25 mins away, I was on a long stretch of road when this car ended up in front of me with a license plate that said, “OBDNCE.” I began pronouncing it out loud in my car, “O-B-D-NCE….Obedience!” …”Yes, Lord” I said to Him, “I hear you…make my heart obedient to whatever you ask of me.”
I continued talking to the Lord and pondering that word as I drove behind the car, and couldn’t help but notice that with every turn and exit, that car made the same turns and exits that I did. It literally stayed directly in front of me for an entire 15 minutes!
I didn’t know specifically what God was going to ask me to do, but knowing what I know now, it was such a prophetic picture of the Lord saying, “Obey and follow me through every turn and every exit….I’m leading you to safety.”
During my last week in KC, the Lord had dropped in my heart the impression of moving back to KC, so I was praying and fasting for confirmation. The KC prayer community was in a corporate 40-day fast until April 9th, and with our apartment lease ending May 31, I needed to know 60 days in advance if I was to sign another year contract and stay in ATL or not.
Once I returned to GA, I continued seeking the Lord for answers on many things, and had a “wall of prayer” filled with sticky notes of each question or topic I needed wisdom and direction on. By the end of the 40 days, the Lord had answered many of those questions and also confirmed that He was moving me back to KC so I could have a safe place to heal with a community of support around me.
Sadly, in ATL I didn’t have any close friends or support of people that I could trust to share what was really going on in my marriage (outside of my professional counselor), so I didn’t share it with anyone for another month.
…I had already experienced the betrayal of the one friend who I thought cared for me, but who instead spoke words of judgment and condemnation when I shared my pain, and then walked out and abandoned me. Then several weeks later, at the end of April, when I shared with the church leaders about my “awakening” to the truth of the abuse, I was grossly mistreated and betrayed by all in the room. But God…
Even in those moments, the Lord’s tangible grace was on me to see and observe the harsh abuse from them, but to not react or waver. I knew it was only God that helped me through that meeting and strengthened me to do what He was calling me to do….to speak the truth in love, not pretend anymore, and to follow Him.
I didn’t know the way ahead, but God faithfully led me step by step, giving me grace to do the next thing…pack the next box, make the next phone call, and connecting me to the right people to help me along the way.
One of the hardest things I had to do was to call all of our ministry partners, who had no idea that we were separated or knew of the broken state of our marriage for 5 years because I myself didn’t even know the truth of what was really going on all that time, and didn’t have any language for the pain and confusion I lived in.
As I picked up the phone and proceeded to call over 65 ministry partners, I said a short 60-second script, and was incredibly blessed by the gracious replies on the other end of the line. …Nothing about this decision was easy, and in reality, the pain of grief hadn’t even begun yet. My body was still in survival mode, and it knew it wasn’t safe yet…
More to come on that later…
For now, may this word of “Obedience” encourage you in whatever situation you’re facing and whatever decision you need to make. Obedience isn’t always easy. In fact, it might be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, but God is faithful to stand with you and strengthen you every step of the way as you keep your eyes and heart set on Him alone.
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